I will:
commit
lose five pounds per month month loss.
workout a minimum of three hours a week
eat out for lunch a maximum of twice a week (this is HUGE).
purchase one article of clothing per month for the next six months.
#2 - Five Pounds Per Month
I have expectations that it will be a breeze. I am competitive and a sore loser. I feel bad when others lose more weight and get the medals. As a result, I will quit when I don't win.
Five pounds a month is a good expectation. It falls in line with the 1-2 pounds that you should lose per week. It discourages me from "dieting" and "working my ass off".
Ok. I need to lose 50 pounds. Not five. FIFTY. FITTY. Five. Oh. I'm absolutely sick about it and it sounds HUGE. Insurmountable. Actually fifty-two pounds, but who is counting?
I have five resolutions. I will:
commit
lose five pounds per month month loss.
workout a minimum of three hours a week
eat out for lunch a maximum of twice a week (this is HUGE).
purchase one article of clothing per month for the next six months.
#1 – Commitment
I will admit that I have an attention span issue. Hell, I can't even commit to a series in blogging. I am just all over the place. I realize that and I feel it. I am not attention deficit disordered. I suffer from information overload. I know a lot of shit. I am addicted to googling. I belong to weight loss blogs and forums. I am easily influenced by the latest and greatest thing. I have to pick a program and stick. With. It. I have to do what works for me.
For the next three months, I will prove to myself that I can be committed by:
weighing in weekly at Weight Watchers. No excuses.
tracking meals online or in my journal.
not referring to my endeavor as a “diet”. Diet implies temporary.
This week's topic at Weight Watchers is Resolutions.
OK. You know that I have a love/hate relationship with resolutions. I typically don't do them because I think that resolutions DON'T WORK. Not because they are inherently flawed...Just because I forget that I resolved to do something around February 14.
I imagine that I am not the only person that experiences this. So, Weight Watchers is devoting the entire week's class to resolutions. :)
The following five steps are outlined to develop a successful resolution
1. Make your resolutions public
2. Write down your resolution
3. Keep things simple
4. Mark your achievements
5. Make small changes
Also, Weight Watchers recommends that the resolutions are SMART. I am familiar with this because my performance objectives at work are SMART.
Specific – Objectives should specify what they want to achieve. Measurable – You should be able to measure whether you are meeting the objectives or not. Achievable - Are the objectives you set, achievable and attainable? Realistic – Can you realistically achieve the objectives with the resources you have? Time – When do you want to achieve the set objectives?
So, I am going to noodle on this for a minute. I'll be back tomorrow with my SMART New Year Resolution.
Have you seen Jennifer Hudson's new commercial? Fab!
Well, I went to the ATL for Christmas. The. entire. ::: insert government last name here ::: clan was congregated in one house.
Guess what?
It wasn't bad. Actually we had a blast. There was a slide show *looking around nervously* complete with Christmas music. Loads of food and drink. I cooked *gasp*.
There was snow. *side eye*
One of these little snotty nosed, teary-eyed, sniffle monsters made me sick! Hint: Not the one that looks like, "I will slug her if she kisses me."
Rooney had a blast (he always travels with me). He had fun sniffing the babies. Now, he is KNOCKED out.
Now I am thinking ahead. I think that I am going to be a resolutionary. :)
Another Stevie Wonder song...I just love it! Listen to the lyrics!
Some day at Christmas
Someday at Christmas men won't be boys
Playing with bombs like kids play with toys
One warm December our hearts will see
A world where men are free
Someday at Christmas there'll be no wars
When we have learned what Christmas is for
When we have found what life's really worth
There'll be peace on earth
Someday all our dreams will come to be
Someday in a world where men are free
Maybe not in time for you and me
But someday at Christmastime
Someday at Christmas we'll see a land
With no hungry children, no empty hand
One happy morning people will share
Our world where people care
Someday at Christmas there'll be no tears
All men are equal and no men have fears
One shinning moment, one prayer away
From our world today
Someday all our dreams will come to be
Someday in a world where men are free
Maybe not in time for you and me
But someday at Christmastime
Someday at Christmas man will not fail
Take hope because your love will prevail
Someday a new world that we can start
With hope in every heart
Someday all our dreams will come to be
Someday in a world where men are free
Maybe not in time for you and me
But someday at Christmastime
Someday at Christmastime
WHY did she have two shirts, two pairs of pajamas (?), a robe (!), 2 pair of pants, and a gold metallic sweater o_O in her bag? It was packed all catawumpus. She managed to fill up the entire piece with four pieces. LOL Nothing was rolled. Just thrown in the bag. I walked in the door and she was looking all sick and worried. Just sitting there. Suitcase filled to the BRIM...with NOTHING. Straight stressed.
OK. I am at work. I am preparing for the holidays and my little holiday adventure. Right now nails are on my mind! Nails! Nails! Nails!
I am really excited because I am off work for the next week and a half. I can do all of the psychadelic nail colors that I usually reserve for my toes.
I am debating what I want to do with my nails! I think that I am going to do a glitter overlay. I am absolutely OBSESSED with OPI's Burlesque collection. I love all of the glitters and the regular colors! I am definitely going to do Sparkle-Licious. I haven't decided if I want it over black or silver or just by itself.
The above is my result for my first day with the BodyMedia Fit. I put it on at 7:00 am. I couldn't wait to get home to take it off and figure out my stats. Why? Because I am a statistically-inclined? Nope. Because I wanted to cypher and plug into Excel workbooks? Nope.
I'm allergic to the damn thing.
I sat there and suffered all day because I was really curious about the stats. I am really more concerned about the Calories Burned stat. I don't know...I was beginning to think that I had some sort of metabolism deficiency (i.e. The excuse reason why the weight isn't falling off like I would like).
I was operating from the assumption that I only burned about 1000 calories per day. Yep. 1000 calories. That would explain why I only lose 1 pound a week when other folks are pulling in two and three. *sigh* I know...I know...I can only compare to myself, but still....
It looks like I burned 2100 calories from the point about 7:00 am to 5:00 pm. I could see the spikes when I ran from meeting to meeting and took the stairs at a parking garage during lunch. There was a lull when I sat at my desk doing paperwork. I am sure that this isn't 100% accurate, but it does show that I burn *something*.
I am not going to wear this anymore. I have an itchy rash on my arm. I'm mailing this bad boy back to them ASAP.
Lesssons Learned: One. I am not metabolically challenged. I need to do a much better job with my eating and exercise. Two. I have to remember that I have sensitive skin. If the elastic on my socks break me out, then I should know better than to think that something strapped to my arm 24/7 wouldn't.
See this empty space on my desk? This is where my Secret Santa gift was supposed to reside.
Let's start from the beginning. I loves me some Christmas. I loves me some gift giving. I think that I give pretty good gifts. I love wrapping gifts and making bows. I love everything associated with pretty presents. I write lists. Check them twice. Alladat. I will admit that I am hard to shop for so my expectations for gifts are reeeeeally low. However, there have been people who get it wrong. Really wrong. But there are people who have got it right.
So, I had a lot of fa-la-la-la-la left in me, so I organized the The First Annual ::: insert company name here ::: IS (Information Service) Diva (lol) Gift Exchange. We used SecretSanta.com to invite and assign Santas. I picked my gifts. I dropped something at her desk every single day. I took the lunch order. I collected the money. I picked up the dessert. #doingTheMost
We put the gifts in a pile. We call out the names. We are one gift short. Guess who didn't get a gift?
I am reminded of my friend G's experience in a Secret Santa exchange. ROFL!!! That's what I get for laughing at her experience 'cause the same thing happened to me. I was stiffed a gift. So, um, yeah. My Santa was reeeeeal secret.
Here's the conversation:
The Crew: Aw Michelle! We feel so bad.
Me: It's all good. No worries.
Me (thinking): I hope that I am not looking like a big baby. Tuck it in Micki. Tuck it in!
The Crew: Here's her gift open it.
Me (looking at a ginormous package conspicuously): o_O What is it?
The Gift Giver (who is my girl mind you): It's a Nutcracker.
Me: That's alright...I'll never use it. Just give it to her. I'm good.
I was a good sport about it (at least I hope that I was). I can't get upset about it. I still had fun. My Secret Santa had a blast. She loved her gifts (A Bath and Body gift set and a table purse holder thingamajig). She even cried 'cause she asked for socks and I gave her girlish gifts. Who asks for socks? I am happy and seeing her happy made me happy! Plus we had pizza. I love pizza!
Now I am listening to Too Short...Straight getting crunk. LOL!
Well, I have a Kindle. I had a couple of gift cards. I mean...I need to read something. I'll be back with my "official" review. Maybe even a quick summary of what I have learned!
I went to a birthday brunch on Saturday morning. I was very excited because it is for one of my closest friends. I made lemon cupcakes (I have pictures...I think). I had champagne for mimosas. And I got a cute card.
I rang the doorbell and this girl answered the door. I'm not right. I looked up and thought, "Damn. She is HUGE." I'm 5'10". Homegirl had to be like 6'4" and 400 pounds. She was sweet as hell though and I felt a little bad at my thoughts.
So, I took a seat. My friend was like, "Ain't no chairs. Michelle pull up that ottoman." Yes. I was sitting at the dining room table at the ottoman. Whatever. Beats the floor.
After eating, we were sitting around talking. The girl that answered the door got out of her seat. She farted. In. my. face.
Remember I was in the ottoman. Sitting low as hell. She was sitting in a chair and her booty was at my face when she got out of the chair.
She farted in my face.
*sigh*
What do you do? Do you make a scene? I shole wasn't going to make a BFD out of it. She would have beat the hell out of me. I was so embarrassed to have a fart in my face. I just ignored it and pretended to not hear anything.
I was mad...On the inside, of course. That's what I get for prejudging someone.
Yesterday, we had a dusting of snow. Not enough to shut down the city. Just enough to get on my nerves. So, I stayed home and did some "stuff around the house" and watched movies. :)
Edit: I had to edit a word in that first paragraph. What was I thinking? I had to edit 'cause I couldn't let that sit out there like that.
The tree makes no rhyme or reason. I have pink, blue, gold, silver, purple , ornaments and I love it! Glittery birds!
Hmm...An experiment that went really well. Flatbread pizza. Why didn't y'all tell me?!! I bought the one-point flat out bread, pizza sauce, turkey pepperoni, and mozzarella. I paired it with a spinach salad. The best lunch! Next time, I am going to add vegetables and meat! Loves it!
I did a Youtube search on Lemon Pepper Tilapia. I found a video. The um..Guru? made Lemon Pepper Tilapia with mustard and lemon pepper seasoning.
I found her very entertaining, but there were some things that I found rather disturbing. First, the fish came out of a box and she slathered it with mustard. Not mustard seasoning, but straight up yellow mustard. Not a fresh honey mustard, but a container of French's mustard.
She made mashed potatoes as one of the sides...Loaded mashed potatoes..Yay! Real food. Right? Right? Wrong! Fake bacon, cheese from a bag and parsley from a plastic container.
And corn on the side. Green Giant corn...Fresh from frozen. ROFL!
Not a trace of lemon.
No fresh herbs.
No trace of fresh anything.
Not a trace of "green" anything.
So, I looked at the other cooking videos. Everything was processed, pulled from the freezer, and made for quick cooking. She will mess around and have pressha and suga before long.
I hope it snows and snows! I don't want to go to work on Monday. Blizzard! Not the kind of blizzard were people lose their power. Just the kind of blizzard that allows me to stay in the house, work from home and chillax in my pajamas! Hell. Close the office!
Of course, I love the spirited sounds of Michael Buble.
So, I read a lot of blogs. Thank goodness for Gmail Reader!
I ran across this entry from Home of Three Duncan Boys. I was obsession at first sight. Glittery. birds!
Last night, I thought about braving the cold and going to Walmart(s) because I wanted to get several glittery birds. All I could think is that there would be a run on glittery birds! My tree needs them!
This morning I woke up at 5:35 am with thoughts of glittery birds. I was obsessed. I'm talking "rocking back and forth" obsessed. I even Facebooked it. I decided that I could NOT wait until after work. I had to go to Walmart before work!
A sista was feenin'!
I went to Walmart. I bought glittery birds, glittery crosses, and wait for it...wait for it...GLITTERY BUTTERFLIES!!!! I clean out the entire rack of birds.
My mother called...From Wal-mart. She was picking up several glittery birds for me.
I went back to the blog to see the other Christmas tree ideas that I could swipe. That's when I realized that I got the wrong danggone birds!!! The birds featured in the blog are more...filigreed. More Pottery Barn-esqued. More elegant. My birds are pretty, but not the same as the others.
My mother is all over the place with the type of birds she bought. Now I gotta go to one more Walmart(s). I don't like Walmart. I have fulfilled my yearly quota of Walmart(s) trips in one day.
*sigh*
Aside - I got my iPhone at Radio Shack. Basically it was $50 off. Plus I traded in three cell phones for Radio Shack gift certificates. I walked out the door with a $50 iPhone. Kinda mad 'cause I should have sold it on eBay...At the time I was being lazy and I didn't want to fool with mailing stuff off and what not. Whatever.
"I have been saving this up. Now that I have hit my goal weight, I have this to say! Every week I watch y'all strip down to your underwear and step on the scale. You are only fooling yourself."
This are the words from a 80+ year old member in a former Weight Watchers meeting. She was a spry and fly. Every week she would attend the meeting in a smart three-piece pants ensemble complete with a hat! She would weigh in and wouldn't shed an article of clothing. Each and every week, she would hit numbers. Every milestone she would be quiet. However, when she hit her goal weight and marked that forty pound loss, that dear little lady really let loose.
Five years later, her words echo in my head. She kinda forced me to look at my strategy. I noticed that on the weeks that I think that I may have gained my clothes were very light. Then there was that time when I weighed my clothes to find the "lightest outfit"...I got mad because my clothes were so light that they didn't register on my scale. LOL! I contemplated weighing them on my food scale, but that's kinda gross. So, I didn't.
She was right. I was fooling myself. If I followed the plan, there is no need to do all of that foolishness.
During the meeting, I observed several members skripping when standing at the scale. I'm talking about t-shirts and boxing shorts. At that point, I decided that I would NOT be that woman. I weigh in jeans and a t-shirt. When I am done, I put on my hoodie and find my seat. If I gain, then I review, learn and don't make the same mistakes.
When I am at home...Well, that's a whole other experience.
I haven't gone underground. I haven't quit the plan. I have been counting and sweating...sweating and counting. My closest friend joined and my mother joined. My sister is going to join. So, I don't feel like I am doing this alone. Tonight is weigh-in. I can't wait for the results.
But this is about the reaction to the new program.
Summary - The NY Times contains an article on the new WW program - PointsPlus.
“I don’t want to be forced to choose veggies. I do NOT like veggies or fruit,” one member wrote in an online discussion on the Weight Watchers Web site. “I feel like I am being forced to ‘diet,’ and that is what I DO NOT WANT.”
*blink*
What food does she eat? French fries, hot dogs, and Fried Okra? No water? Only juice cocktails and sodas? Can you imagine what she looks like? I am saying "she", but it could just as well be a "he". Who doesn't eat fruit?
I will admit that there are some fruits and vegetables that I don't get down with. Peaches. Okra. Tomatoes (well...some tomatoes). Keep your stinking peach cobbler, and fried okra. Please don't put tomatoes on my sandwich. I am friends with plenty other fruits and vegetables.
I won't say that Weight Watchers is a diet. It IS a Weight Loss program. Most people don't typically join because they want eat lose weight by eating twinkies and nutty bars or lose a pound a day with no hunger. Most people join Weight Watchers because there isn't a "meal plan", food to buy ('memba this?), or a one size fits all formula (everyone eats 1200 calories a day). It is what you make it. You are given good health guidelines and encouraged to use them. However, the rest is up to you. Nobody forces you to do anything, but I think that it the advice is sound. You just have to read it, listen to it or incorporate the advice into your lifestyle. If you don't, then that's cool. Do you boo-boo!
Oh yeah. It isn't an individualized plan either. If you have a medical issue, then you really should consider incorporating your Doctor's advice into your daily eating. In other words, if you know that you are a diabetic, don't think that you can go all willy nilly on the high-glycemic fruit. I would follow my doctor's advice over the advice of my Weight Watcher leader (not that they give that type of advice).
Ultimately, Weight Watchers is say that not all calories are the same...Junk food calories are typically higher than foods that are low fat, lower carb, higher protein, and fiber rich. One point bars? What are those? They are now two point bars, but a bowl of popcorn stayed the same. Why? Because of all of that wonderful fiber in popcorn. Nutritional. Value. is the buzzword.
Here's Weight Watchers answer on this (courtesy of the New York Times article).
“It’s a complete overhaul; it doesn’t get any bigger than this,” said Karen Miller-Kovach, the chief scientific officer for Weight Watchers International. “Fifteen years ago we said a calorie is a calorie is a calorie. If you ate 100 calories of butter or 100 calories of chicken, it was all the same. Now, we know that is not the case, in terms of how hard the body has to work to make that energy available. And even more important is that where that energy comes from affects feelings of hunger and fullness.”
Ultimately, a calorie is a calorie, but not all calories are the same...
Next topic: Weigh-in attire (A.K.A. The Woman That Strips Before Stepping On The Scale)
Two of my close friends are celebrating birthdays this week. He is a guy. She is a girl.
In my mind...1 + 1 = 2
So, I thought, "Hmmm....Maybe I could make something happen between the two of them."
Sidebar - I know that I should be making something happen for myself, but work with me on this....Besides...This ain't about me. This is about them. Their potential coupling. Me in a fancy dress with a bundle of flowers in my hand watching them start their lives together.
Then I thought, 'Well, they are both Sagitarrians (sp?). That wouldn't be good. One Sag + One Sag = Hot Mess."
Who does that? Who thinks about signs when determining a good romantic match? I don't know...I do think that some aspects of astrology are true. Like I know for a fact that I should never date a Gemini. Hell if I ever get pregnant, I am going to pull a Phaedra and have them sew me shut so that I can have a Capricorn or a Pisces...Trust me on that.
Besides they are my best friends. I already know that it would be a hot mess. She has a tendency to be spoiled. Very spoiled and prone to click out for no apparent reason. He has a tendency to be emotionally needy. He is the type of brotha that will move into your joint after the first date. Abandon his dog and his house to be with you 'cause he loves being in love! He is like the male version of Elmyra and every woman is an abominable snowgirl. <3 <3 Nevermind any of that...I automatically assume they wouldn't be a good match because of their signs o_O.
That would be a hot mess and I don't want to be in the middle of it.
Maybe we should just go to Applebee's or someplace. #dontsleeponthe2for20
I love this song. My mother, Ms. Margaret, LOVES this song.
I used to hate when she would bake rum cakes. In her sinnin' days *snicker*, she would make fabulous rum cakes.
She would run to the liquor store and buy a bottle of Bacardi. She would crank up the stereo and go to work on her cakes and pies.
She also sampled the rum...
I learned to steer clear of the kitchen because she would insist on making you dance with her. Her eyes would be little slits, she would be smiling, she would have her outstretched arms and she would be singing off-key and loud.
The drunker she got. The better the cake. How does that work?
She is probably deeply mortified that I am sharing this with y'all. It's all good Ms. Margaret. We love you!
I have hopped on the scale about four times this morning.
Think light thoughts.
Hop on the scale.
Look at the number.
Think "This isn't right."
Get off the scale.
Move the scale to a different floor grid.
Take off pajamas...
Think light thoughts.
Hop on the scale.
Look at the number...
Lather-rinse-repeat.
Well, I am down 4.2 pounds since Sunday.
At any rate, I am going to Kickboxing this morning. I am going to a Spanish tapas place tonight. I know that I am going to want a glass (or two) of Sangria and a slice (or half a slice) of Tres Leches. So, I gotta sweat. Hard.
This song brings back memories. I am reminded of my favorite episode of the Charlie Brown cartoon. Remember his monologue at the end? I always cry when I see watch it.
Once upon a time, there lived a very smart and reasonably fashionable young lady. One day while dressing for work, she realized that she had a very important presentation to present to the Vice-Presidents of her company.
"Shit!", she thought, "I really should wear a suit today or at least a very smart sweater dress."
She dug deep in her closet and pulled out a very smart sweater dress. What was once a semi-stylish and flattering look had become a, er, hot mess. So, she pulled out a smart jacket. And then a smart cardigan. None of those looks worked.
So, she pulled out a black pant suit with a silk blouse (a.k.a. SmallerSized). The jacket fit ok...If she didn't button it. The pants were uncomfortable, but nothing that a Spank (singular form of Spanx) or two couldn't fix.
She breathed a sigh of relief when the pants fastened. She looked in the mirror and decided that it wasn't that bad. Shit she looked like everybody else! Not bad. Not bad...
She also vowed that she would not eat all day 'cause the pants were sooo tight. She was afraid that they would explode if she ate 1/2 a bite of an apple. Yet she decided to risk it and go to lunch. She ordered a bowl of Mexican Gumbo. She ate about 1/2 of it and she was stuffed.
At that point, she was thankful for SmallerSized and a Spank. She likened it to a fashionable corset. Except she didn't have to deal with the boning. She thought that SmallerSized and a Spank was good for her posture. No slumping. SmallerSized and a Spank was good for her diet. It caused a sensation of fullness.
Elation! She found the secret! She would wear SmallerSized every day. She would surely accomplish her goals.
After lunch, she was ran through her presentation with her team members and executive sponsors. She felt pressure at the waistband of her pants. Then she heard and felt a "pop".
She thought, 'Oh hell no! I know that my button did NOT just pop.' Then she felt a wave of relief as all of her juiciness overflowed and spilled over the waistband. She decided to sit perfectly still and continue to walk through the presentation with her co-workers. If she sat still then nothing else would happen...So, she thought.
At this point, she became very aware of what was happening with her pants. She she started taking shallow breaths. She noticed that with each exhale, her zipper would move down a notch.
She silently prayed that her zipper would stop making moves towards her lower region because she would be completely mortified if her pants fell down when she stood up to leave the conference room. The last thing that she wanted was for her pants to fall down and expose her Spank (or two)....
I am a IT Project Manager that lives and works in the midwest. I am constantly on a journey for self-improvement. I enjoy all things related to home-making, fashion, handbags, and travel. I enjoy sushi, lemon drop martinis, laughter, and chillaxing. I also start a new diet every week. I change diets like I change my drawers. lol I live with a twelve pound Shih Tzu, Rooney, who seems to think that he is runnin' thangs. The sad part is that I think he is right.
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