Ego...She Gotta Big Ego...

I probably haven't talked much about it, but I have accomplished quite a bit this year...I am slowly but surely chipping away at this facade and getting to the root of what really makes me happy.  I am really getting to the root of what is important to me and doing away with the stuff that isn't.  It kinda started last year when I cut off the relaxer.  At that point, I started thinking about who I really am as a person.

 

It started with the hair.   Then I started looking at my car.  I thought that driving luxury brand cars would make me happy.  They don't.  I am just as happy driving my Accord as I am the BMW.  Also, my savings account thanks me for a car with affordable service and higher fuel efficiency.

 

Then I looked in my closet.  At the very top was a collection of handbags.  I didn't carry them.  I didn't respect them.  They meant nothing to me.  I sold them to pay for my bed.  Now I carry whatever.  It doesn't matter.  But guess what?  I really enjoy sleeping in my bed. :-)

 

Today I completed the most significant act of this year.  For the last 10 years, I have carried an American Express Gold Card.  The annual fee is $150 and it is due in January.  I don't like it, but I pay it because there is perceived value in the card.  Perceived value?

• I like not holding balances
• I find it convenient
• Um.  The points
• The purchase protection
• Karl Malden.

Every year I say, "I am not going to go down to a Green card.  At least, I will save some money on the annual fees and still receive my points."  I never do.

 

Well, today I saw that now there is a Zync card o_O.  It's white.  I read over the benefits.  Not much difference between that and the gold card.  I decided that the fees are manageable ($25 a year) and reasonable.  So, I made the decision that TODAY is the day that I cancel my gold card.

 

Why was that hard?  Why did my heart palpitate? I'm talking about moments of self-doubt.

 

I know...I know...It isn't the black card.  Hell, it ain't even platinum.  Now you know that I am complaining about the gold card fees...You KNOW that I am not going to pay $450 in annual fees. LOL

 

I doubt that anyone really cares what type of card I am presenting.  I sincerely doubt that anyone is making any judgment on my credit purchases and what not.  This conflict is clearly me.  Why am I attaching so much value on this?  It means nothing to me, but why do I keep holding on to it?

 

I canceled the Gold card.  I got the Zync o_O card.  I am still alive.