The Happyness Project

I went to look at a house in my "idea" neighborhood.  It is a small cottage home community (65 homes).  The homes are about 5-6 years old.  There is a house that is "my price".  I went to look at it.

Curb Appeal - I was underwhelmed by it.  Actually, I was downright insulted.  LOL  Someone "tried" to landscape the sides and backyard.  Random rocks and boulders.  The backyard had tall bushes.  I don't do bushes or anything that a rapist could hide behind.  I am protective of my parts.  Judging from the mountains of cigarette butts, there was no smoking inside the house.  The garage door had car damage and the shutters need to be reattached.  There were no exterior lights.  That didn't scare me.  Not at all.

View from the foyer..The foyer was pretty small.  Large enough for a console table and a small chair.  When I walked through the threshhold, I was pretty pleased with the condition of the hardwoods.  But everything else?  No bueno!  All I saw was baby poop colored paint and missing lights.   Again.  Not skerred.

The family room/dining area/kitchen - I really like the kitchen cabinets.  But let me tell you...Everything was COVERED IN DOG HAIR and just straight dirty.  I don't understand how anyone could be that danggone trifling.  The outlet covers were painted over and broken.  There were holes in all of the wall.  The appliances were furry!!  The glides to the sliding door were absolutely horrendous.  The vents were BLACK.  I would replace all of the blinds to wood.

I was a bit confused about the concept.  The living room, dining area, and kitchen were tiny.  Smaller than what I have now.  *raised brow*

But again...I'm not scared of hard work.  Murphy's oil.  TSP cleaner.  Painting.  Bleach.  Who am I kidding?  I would hire a company to do that for me.  LOL  New countertops.  New appliances. New register covers.  Steam clean the vents.  Have someone clean the furnace and filters.

The 1/2 bath looked like...*thinking* A tavern toilet.  I would definitely paint and add a very bright light.  Oh yeah.  A new toilet.  Ceramic floors.  Seriously, I have issues and new toilets are a must.

Then the basement...First, I don't like basements.  I just don't.  I most certainly didn't like this one.  Some genius decided to use colored chalk to draw the middle finger and floor to wall sinister characters.  I would have to call someone to powerwash that or paint the walls.

Let's go upstairs...First the walls transitioned from baby poop to adult crap.  The carpet is filthy.  Dog pee stains.  Dog poop residue.  Now you know that you are in the some bull when you pull up your pant legs when you walk up the stairs.  I would have to pull out all of the carpet and bathroom flooring.  For a second, I even considered doing away with the bathtubs.  Clearly I have issues.  LOL

The bedrooms were a nice size.  The master bedroom has his/her closets...*swoon*  Oh the closets were lovely.  I could just imagine the beautiful closet system.  Second floor laundry area is a nice feature.  The master bathroom was huge in comparison to what I have now.  Of course, I would insist on new countertops and toilets.   And a lot of bleach.

I estimate that I would need to do at least $7-8K in updates.

I have thought about it.  I have really thought about it.  I am not ready to do all of that work.  I just don't see it as an upgrade.